Tuesday, April 19, 2016

The End of Art Garfunkel is at Hand

Paul Simon, the music industry's greatest living human rage monster, is going to get rid of this whole Art Freakin' Garfunkel problem once and for all:

Paul Simon has admitted that he is not on speaking terms with Art Garfunkel.

The legendary duo haven't completed an album together since 'Bridge Over Troubled Water', which was released shortly before they split in 1970 although the pair recently played together in 2010. 

But just last year, Garfunkel called Simon an "idiot" and a "jerk" and said he "created a monster" when he became his friend in grade school.

Now, when asked whether the duo would ever play together again, Simon told Rolling Stone: "No, out of the question. We don't even talk.”

He also revealed that the reason why most people come to his concerts is because they want to hear his 1986 hit 'You Can Call Me Al'.

I don't have any firsthand knowledge of what's going to happen to poor Artie but I know one thing--he needs to stay home and hide under his bed with about fifty bodyguards around him at all time. And--did you know--the character "John Wick"is based on Paul Simon?


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